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wa-Yei•shev 3rd Eve

Yᵊhudâh Intermarries A Kᵊna•an•it

Ancient Middle-East Culture

Arranged Marriages & Women's Inheritance Rights

B.C.E. 1773

After selling Yo•seiph into slavery, as his brothers were returning home with their tzon to Khë•vᵊr•on, Yᵊhudâh left the group to visit a man in Adulâm named Khir•âh. While there, a Kᵊna•an•it girl, a Bat-Shua, caught his eye; and Yᵊhudâh arranged with him for the girl, whose first name is never recorded to be his common-law wife.

Yᵊhudâh and this Kᵊna•an•it Bat-Shua, had three sons together: Eir, O•nân and later, Sheil•âh.

When his first-born, Eir, became an adult, Yᵊhudâh arranged a wife for him. Her name was Tâ•mâr. But Eir was bad in the Eyes of é‑‑ä and é‑‑ä killed him, leaving Tâ•mâr a widow with no child to inherit the first-born's double-portion.

So, according to the ancient Middle Eastern custom, Yᵊhudâh instructed O•nân to sire a child with her. But O•nân, knowing that the child—and the child's inheritance—would not be his, performed only part of the mi•tzᵊwâh, refusing to complete the mi•tzᵊwâh. This was bad in the Eyes of é‑‑ä and é‑‑ä killed O•nân too.

Yᵊhudâh's youngest son wasn't yet old enough to sire a child. So Yᵊhudâh instructed his daughter-in-law, Tâ•mâr, to go back home to her father's house and wait until Sheil•âh reached puberty so that he wouldn't fail to sire a child and die like his older brothers had. So Tâ•mâr went back home to her father's house.

Timnah
Click to enlargeTi•mᵊn•âh

After many days had passed, Bat-Shua, Yᵊhudâh's wife, died.

After a respectable period of being comforted as a widower, Yᵊhudâh and his friend from Adulâm, Khir•âh, herded their tzon toward Ti•mᵊn•âh to shear them.

Meanwhile, Tâ•mâr had lived in her father's house a long time and Sheil•âh had become an adult. But Yᵊhudâh seemed to have forgotten his promise to her. She heard about their trip and she thought of a way to conceive her own child—Yᵊhudâh—and ensure her inheritance. She took off her widow's mourning clothes, concealed her identity with a veil over her face, disguising herself as a prostitute, hanging around the village gate of Ein•aiim—which Yᵊhudâh had to walk by on his way to Ti•mᵊn•âh..

As Yᵊhudâh and his friend were herding their tzon by Ein•aiim, he noticed the fetching figure of the young girl whose face was hidden behind a veil, and assumed she was a prostitute. He didn't know she was his daughter-in-law.

Seeing the fetching, apparent prostitute, he flared out the tzon toward her along the way. "Come, let me come to you," he called to her.

"What will you pay me?" she inquired.

"After the flocks are sheared, I'll send you a kid," he responded.

"What will you pawn to me in the meantime as collateral?" she bargained.

"What do you want?" he asked.

"Your signet ring, your pᵊtil and your tribal scepter-staff," she negotiated.

So Yᵊhudâh gave them to her and went in to her.

And she became pregnant by Yᵊhudâh. Then she went off, removed her veil and put her widow's mourning clothes back on.

When Yᵊhudâh sent his friend, Khir•âh of Adulâm, to deliver the kid to her and bring back his collateral, Khir•âh couldn't find her. When he asked around among the men of Ein•aiim they all denied that there had been any prostitute there.

So Khir•âh returned to his friend, Yᵊhudâh, reporting, "I couldn't find her in Ein•aiim, and the men there said there hasn't been any prostitute there."

"She's taken my collateral," Yᵊhudâh concluded. "Let her keep it or we'll be shamed. I kept my word. I sent the kid, but you couldn't find her."

Optional parental preparation:

  1. Parents may want to consider, based on the child's age, etc., what parts of this story to present. Return to text

  2. What this means isn't clear, and has long been the subject of wide debate. It could mean simply dying prematurely. Or it could mean that each, specifically described in the text as øÇò, was executed in consequence of some felony. Or, in the days before development of a Beit Din system, it could mean an honor killing. Return to text

  3. Only her first name was recorded, suggesting that (contrary to baseless speculation two millennia later in Ta•lᵊmud Ma•sëkët Sot•âh 10a and bᵊ-Reish•it Rab•âh 85.9), like Yᵊhudâh's (and Yo•seiph's) wife, she was also a daughter of a Kᵊna•an•i Return to text

  4. Coitus interruptus – Parents are alerted to be prepared how, depending on the child's age, they may want to approach explaining how completing only part of a mi•tzᵊwâh is unacceptable and judged as bad. Return to text

Questions you might anticipate that your child might raise and be prepared to discuss:

  1. What's a common-law wife?

  2. What does pawn mean?

  3. What is collateral?

  4. What is bargaining and negotiating and how does one succeed in bargaining and negotiating?

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